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Question: What about cross-dressers makes some people so uncomfortable? (Posted by: on 2011-12-04 20:53:40) From what you may have figured from my other question, I'm 20 years old and I cross- dress. While most of my friends have been pretty accepting, a couple have not. One of my friends really doesn't like it when I dress as a woman, even on Halloween when drag is pretty much accepted, he kept avoiding me and didn't want to sit with me and our other friends at the dining hall (we live on campus). For the next few days it just seemed like he was avoiding me and truthfully I felt hurt because he is my friend. Since it really seems to bother him and I value his friendship, I choose not to dress up when I'm meeting up with him. I disagree with his views but I respect his feelings on the subject and I hope one day he can respect my life choices as well, if not as a friend than as a human being. Anyway, this question is really for people who may feel uncomfortable around cross- dressers, transvestites, transsexuals or gender variant people in general. Why is that you might feel uncomfortable being around someone who dresses as the opposite sex? I am not here to judge whether anybody here is right or wrong, I'm just interested in hearing sincere and truthful reasons why you or someone else might feel uncomfortable around a gender variant person. |
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Posted by: Pookie on 2011-12-06, 15:23:43 A lot of heterosexual males are uncomfortable with gay men. They really, really, don't like gay men hitting on them. The thought of gay sex is extremely disgusting to them. These guys may look at a cross-dresser and immediately think "he must be gay ". (I know the majority of cross-dressers are hetrosexual, but gay cross-dressers is a common misconception.) Even if the heterosexual male is knowledgeable and understands that you are 100% heterosexual, he may still be disgusted with cross-dressing. He doesn't want to get aroused by a man dressed as a woman. However if you look good as a cross-dresser, then he may question his own sexual orientation, and feel disgusted. Heterosexual guys do not want some guy messing with their own sexual orientation. |
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Posted by: Tim on 2011-12-04, 20:59:03 I have friends who are cross dressers and preformers I think they are great and son't know why it would bother some people I love to go to the drag shows |
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Posted by: Jacob on 2011-12-04, 21:00:00 People are just not used to it and they don't understand because they can't compromise. |
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Posted by: Luis on 2011-12-04, 21:02:50 Well, you know, I kinda use to be like that, I really don't know why since I'm bisexual, and I guess that means I should be more accepting, but I don't know, I guess he feels uncomfortable because he is not used to it, I mean if u had a friend that liked to go to places dresed as baby, you would probably feel weird about it at the beggining, but I think he will accept it with the time, I mean I don't mind it anymore, and if he doesn't maybe I don't know, talk to him about it.... Wish this helps |
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Posted by: Jake on 2011-12-04, 21:03:20 Social boundaries and whatnot |
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Posted by: rebachick94 on 2011-12-04, 21:03:59 I think people feel that it's just not natural. |
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Posted by: Martina on 2011-12-04, 21:05:48 Hi! Let me clarify I dont feel uncomfortable at all...just feel the need to agree with you...I think that in todays society people are being constantly bombarded with what is a western conception of normality, ads, films, hollywood, heck... disney is full of hetero-idealism-crap. It takes some people time to come out of their shell and "perfect " world to being with real people, no photoshop, just real people of all sexualities and nationalities... I wish that day will come soon.. |
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Posted by: Nobody on 2011-12-05, 00:47:41 I'm not trying to be funny but I have always been afraid of people dressed up as something they are not (clowns, Santa clause impersonators, Halloween costumes). It's not because I hate the people wearing the costumes, I just feel awkward pretending the other person is something they are not. |
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Posted by: Kristine on 2011-12-05, 10:30:23 In my experience, the reason people often avoid someone, regardless of activities such as cross-dressing, is typically related fear. That fear can be created by social stigmas, lack of education or some other inane fear. the last part, an inane fear can be very simple to extremely complicated, with a mix of any of the above. and while actually knowing the real answer as to why your friend avoids you while your cross-dressed may never be known the only person who truly knows the answer is your friend. And if it bothers your so much, you can choose 1 of three different actions, actually sit down with your friend and ask him directly perhaps in a setting where he’s not likely to be embarrassed by his answers, continue as you have been by cross-dressing while attempting to force your hobby on to others, or finally evaluate what your cross-dressing means to you as compared to your friendship, is it more than just a weekend activity and possibly worth the loss of a friend, or is your cross-dressing simply just a weekend activity and something you might be willing to give up for a friendship.. |
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