Transgendered Community - Transgender Tips For The Woman Inside

Question: Why is there so much division among the transgendered community?

(Posted by: J R on 2008-11-14 18:13:38)

This is a question I've been pondering for a while now, based on my personal experience with not only some of the answers I see on Yahoo Answers, but in real life as well. I am a crossdresser/ transvestite. While I rarely dress up fully as a woman, I often dress in female clothes because I enjoy the "feminine " expression it gives me. Like most crossdressers, I am male identified, heterosexual, still like being a man and my masculine qualities, and have a very good dating life. For a while now I've been involved in a transgender support group where all transgendered identities and expressions are welcomed and supported, from crossdressing to androgyny to genderqueer to transexualism and everywhere in between. The facilitators of the support group I attend are MTF and FTM transsexuals, both fully transitioned, and have been extremely welcoming and supportive of not just me but everybody else who was came to the meetings. While this isn't always the case, I have seen a lot of division and factioning among the transgendered community on Yahoo Answers, other internet pages, and in real life as well. One of biggest divsions I've seen is how many transsexuals will try to draw a sharp distinction between themselves and the rest of the trans community, some going as far as saying that transsexuals are not part of the transgendered community. I have also seen that some have extreme hostility towards crossdressers/ transvestites in particular. I am not letting fellow crossdressers/ transvestites off the hook either, because I have seen just as many hostile and divisive comments made by them towards transsexuals and the rest of the trans community as well. Case in point is an answer recently posted dealing with how God views transgendered issues. While there were a lot of diverse answers on there, one transwoman used Deuteronomy 22:5 as a way of implying that crossdressing/ trasvestism is sinful but other evidence in the Bible that being a transsexual isn't. One other transwoman went as far as blasting every other person with a transgender identity but a transsexual who is earnestly seeking SRS as an abomination to God. Of course they are entitled to their opinions, but it disheartens me to see all of this. As a Christian myself, I am well aware of Deuteronomy 22:5 in particular as well as a slew of other passages that can be used for and against transgender issues. I also know that taking a legalistic approach to the Mosiac laws, not just Deuteronomy 22:5, is largely impractical. Otherwise, every woman who wears jeans would be considered a sinner because they were originally a mans garment, just as much of a man wearing a skirt (even though skirts were at one time a very acceptable male garmet). The same goes for a person wearing a cotton/ rayon shirt would be a sinner because the Deuteronomy also decries wearing clothing of mixed fabrics as a sin. You can see the question and answers here: http:/ / answers.yahoo.com/ question/ index;_ylt=AjjIwyE.DcLSYKIonBshHjMjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20081112082726AA50Eop Anyway, back to my point. I tend to follow the concept of that transgender, and gender identity in general, is a broad spectrum that covers a wide range of gender identities/ expressions and is by no means a "one size fits all " or you're either a male gender or female gender and no in- between. Even in cisgendered people, every women has masculine qualities to her just as a man will have some feminine qualities. This is supported by the APA as well as many other mental health professionals. I believe that gender identity is hard- wired into each and every one of us. Most of the time it's a good match. In the case of transsexuals, it is such as mismatch that there is a need to medically transition for a better quality of life. In other people, their gender identity can be more shades of gray and color to where it leads one to gravitate towards an expression that is more or less different from their birth sex but they don't feel the need to transition. Of course I realize that every transgender identity has issues that are unique to itself, and every person with gender identity issues is going to be different from the next. What I would love to see is for trans people to start seeing some of the common features and struggles each trans person has and to get past what identity is more the right way, medically verified, God- accepted, etc. United we stand and divided we fall. I would like to hear opinions from anybody with a transgender identity or who is familiar with trans issues on how the trans community can come together and focus more on our common traits, struggles, and interests rather than the differences that cause division and hostility. While I don't consider any thoughful answer to be right or wrong, I intend to give the best answer to somebody who has the best idea of how the trans community can move past all the infighting amongst each other and come together as a diverse an The last sentence got cut off. It should read as "diverse and strong group ". Dalevil, I totally agree that it's sometimes human nature. I don't see the problem with good- natured teasing meant for humor. It is still okay for trans people to have diverse opinions on trans issues and what constitutes being trans. The big thing is how we can strengthen the common bond and issues that face trans people.

Posted by: Terry on 2008-11-14, 18:20:51

I have never been to a transgendered community. It didn't know there was one. Where is it located? If there is division there, it must be because the transgendered inhabitants are trans-cooperative.

Posted by: dalevil on 2008-11-14, 18:26:11

I think its human nature. only that its more pronounced on the lgbtq community. i mean, with all the insults and ridicule that we suffered, surely that would screw us up. so there. personally im a screwed up gay guy, i like bashing gays for the heck of it. i guess that's just the effect. though sumtimes sharing the same difficulty/ trial could bond a group of people together, i guess this is one of the drawback. i mean things are double edged right? it could set you free or enchain you

Posted by: Axl on 2008-11-14, 18:29:34

Though I'm not a member of the transgendered community, I understand your message, and I admire many of you who, being one of the most outcast and oppressed in the LGBT community, remain strong and firm in your beliefs. I hope the different groups can put their differences aside and unite.

Posted by: allybrwneyes on 2008-11-14, 20:55:03

I asked a similar question some time ago about how I felt Transgendered were looked down upon in some of the other circles. You have to realize that each group though the same is different. For instance, I have been told that Cross dresser and transvestite though I disagree with that, everyone has their level of how far they will go. But everyone also has their feelings and opinions. Groups that are trying to be accepted may not always want to be accepted as part of other groups because of other radical background's associations. I am trying to put this delicately. Perfect example-is the Italians and their stereotype association with the Mafia. Many resent the implications, and feel guilty by association. All groups have skeletons in the closet, and don't at times want to be associated with anything perceived negative. Especially if they them self are trying to "fit " in society. We are all in this together and we all need eachother. Just simply put, all differences aside- we need to come together, that's what makes this country so great, different people coming together for the sake of eachother.

Posted by: Kathryn W on 2008-11-14, 22:45:16

I think you are right about the fractioning. The group I am in pretty much refuses to participate in the LGBTQ functions except Pride. I have completed my year of 24/ 7 and I am living in real life and prefer to go to college and LGBTQ functions (as the Lesbian I am) while they are still hiding in cloistered lives amongst themselves only holding their own meetings and arguing about Crossdressers, DragQueens, Transexuals etc. I think everyone is some type of Transgender and we need to work together to build each other up instead of tear each other down. btw I am goin to college for a degree in psychology, hopefully to work with transgender people.

Posted by: Smarty Pants on 2008-11-15, 03:47:31

I some what agree with you but we (transsexuals) have to distance ourselves a bit from crossdresser and transvestites as we live as our goal sex in everyday life. It gets really annoying when people who know or can tell assume that we are playing some game of dress up and don't take our gender expression seriously. This is a particular problem when it comes to dating and employment. I'm sorry but we are different. What is just a good time or sexual thrill for a crossdresser is our everyday life and it gets old being treated like we're just trying to get off when we are just doing random day to day tasks.

Posted by: Just a Thought on 2008-11-15, 21:54:04

I have to agree with Bonanza Jellybean. We Transsexuals do have to keep a certain degree of fine lines between us, Crossdressers, and Transvestites. This is not to say we are disgusted with these forms which make up the Transgender community, but it undermines the point we are trying to make: Transsexuals have a serious birth defect. I have, in my earlier parts of transition years ago, have been incorrectly called a Transvestite, Drag Queen, or a Crossdresser. These terminologies are hurtful and incorrect because, at the end of the day, I know I had risked life and death with surgeries and hormone therapy just so I can feel in sync with my body. Before transition I was in immense pain because I was trapped in a body which did not feel right at all, and the world was referring to me in a way I did not want to be referred to as. For example, you're okay being called and referred to as a man. That has been a term which simply poured salt in my wounds. Now I'm sure you probably also have been referring to me in particular to the Deuteronomy 22:5 statement. I have no problem with Crossdressers or Transvestites. But to be called one by religious bigots and to insult my medical condition is something I DO have a problem with. When Christians decide to quote specific scriptures stating Transsexuality is wrong (which none exist), I will provide specific scriptures stating it is not. But I will refrain from changing what is worded in the bible to simply make an inclusive case of the entire Transgender community. I am focusing merely on Transsexuality and would rather quote the bible word-by-word so they can take me as a credible person who has read the bible (which I have). I simply can't begin changing words around because I will seem less credible. My intention is for those Christian bigots to actually read their book and see the many great contradictions. Hopefully they will realize they cannot continue justifying their hurtful actions because a non-credible source says so. I want them to see the bible for what it is, not for what it isn't. This way other issues in the Bible which suppress and hurt innocent people are given a second thought, a good reflection, and hopefully can help a person analyze if whether or not using a book written by men (and not the hand of God) is a great enough of a reason to hurt someone or pull the "you are going to hell " card.

Posted by: skirtsnhose on 2008-11-19, 13:40:23

The fundamental answer is that it is not a single community. Rather, it's a loose aggregation of people whose sole common interest is some form of expression opposite their birth gender. Those within the community experience that common interest differently, almost to the point of uniqueness, which makes it difficult for each to understand each other. Second, that common interest is so deeply rooted in our respective souls that it is intensely emotional. Because it's so intently emotional to us, it is very difficult to step outside of our own emotions to make any effort at all to understand those of another within the "community. " Tied to that emotion is the desire to be accepted by the rest of the world, and the attendant belief that those others are harming your chance of being accepted. Third, while that common interest is not strictly speaking tied to sex, for many it is, and is tied to sex in ways that many people may not necessarily appreciate. That also adds another unique element to each person's experience, making it that much more difficult to come to a common understanding of, well, anything, really.

Posted by: dana on 2008-11-20, 19:53:28

I definately think that the hateful rederict dividing the "community " is wriong, but i do feel the need to make a distinction between me and someone who crossdresses. i'm a girl, not a guy that dresses like a girl, there's a big difference. i think there's a big difference between harmless fun with crossdressing, and transitioning. neighter are wrong, just very different.

Posted by: Repunsel on 2008-11-21, 06:30:06

Kathryn and Bonanza Jellybean pretty much said it all. As a ts girl I have found my energy devoted to my life.I work,shop,go home.When I do go out I go to the same places everyone else goes,I am not required to only go to certain places. Is there a division of sorts,well yes.Allot depends on the direction an individual takes in life.I try to be involved with glbt issues for all,not any one group.Have fun and enjoy life,don't worry about labels. My Best